20 Years of Journaling 

So I just decided to get all my old journals out of their cosy, safe box in the attic. Turns out I have been solidly journaling for at least 20 years now. Possibly even longer, because I remember writing earlier than age 11 but I don’t have the journals here (maybe at my mum’s house, maybe destroyed in a fit of shame/anxiety). 

But wow! I can’t believe how much I’ve created over the years! Straight journaling, short stories, poetry, art journaling, sketches, the lot. So much raw emotion. My style has always been free writing, and then never re-reading, at all. Ever. 

Now I aim to read them all, and if there’s any sense in there, perhaps turn them into a book. Needless to say I’m terrified. Step one was to get them out of the attic and put them in order (not an easy task as I went through about a 5 year phase of not dating anything 😬). 

I’ve skimmed, but not read, and I’m getting ready to start the process of reading them. I think it will help my therapy, my self development and my growth of self-understanding and self-compassion. 

I’m certainly feeling typically BPD right now – at both ends of the dialectic at the same time: excited, yet terrified! 
Photo Copyright Katy Matilda Neo, 2017.

2 thoughts on “20 Years of Journaling 

  1. That is so cool!!! I’ve always wanted to turn my journals into a book one day, so this is exciting what you’re doing. I’ve been journaling since I was 11 when my mum bought me my first journal. She said I was such an in my head person and didn’t talk much about how I was feeling or thinking so she thought it would help. So true and so thankful. I just realised I’ve been journaling now for 20 years. One day I’ll go through them all but that will be a huge task, so cheering you on. One of my problems was that I would often write in three journals at a time so the chronology is all out of whack. At least I did date mine pretty consistently though. I’m also in the long process of typing them all up. i always say if there was a fire, my journals are the only things I’d really want. Anyway, rambling, excited for you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel the same. I’m too scared and not yet strong enough to read through them yet as I always practice free writing, meaning it’s pure emotion and I often don’t remember the content afterwards. I’m working (with my therapist) on getting myself into a safe space to start to look at them. I know that they are where all the pain I couldn’t express went, so I know they are going to be painful to read. I intend to do it but I know I will one day be strong enough. Thanks for your support and good luck with yours 💜💜.

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