Why I’m So Tired

Art Journal Sketch Series, Paint and watercolour pencil on paper. Copyright Katy Matilda Neo, March 2017.

It’s a war of attrition; a battle of will. A tug of war that has rarely stood still. Consumption of energy; of willpower each day. Fighting battles I know I’ll both win and lose, either way. Because when fighting myself, how can it be, Any other way than the victor is me?!

But I’m tired of these battles, tired of this war. Can’t even remember when I stopped keeping score. Of petty victories won in my mind, by shells of selves, I’ve long left behind.

To truly win, we need to unite, to truly heal is to confer, not fight. A peaceful congress could end this war. Let’s elect a leader and trust her to rule.

We’d all have a vote and we’d all have a say. But it’s ok to be sad when things don’t go our way. But we have to stop punishing. Time to be kind. To the winners and losers of the wars in my mind.

But does one yet exist among us all, fit to stand; with the wisdom to rule? I say but no, there is no such one. Though each one shouts loudly that she could become. The biggest the strongest, the loudest of all. But big, strong and loud is not needed at all. 

So we must build a new leader. Our powers combined. Our own “higher power” a united mind.

Original Poetry and Artwork (produced as part of the Art Journal Sketch Series) Copyright Katy Matilda Neo, March 2017. All rights reserved.


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