When a person, previously unknown to me, called Angelina Clements chose to post a judgemental and slightly inflammatory comment on one of my posts yesterday, it led to a chain of events that I never would have foreseen.
Played out in public and perhaps unfortunately for her, preserved forever in screenshots shared to Instagram. I’m not sure what she was thinking when she chose to comment on my post as she did… but I don’t think she expected it to pan out quite the way it did.
I’m going to share the story by means of screenshots and quotes as I think this is the best way to explain what happened. I am going to try to stay neutral in my commentary to avoid going off on tangents and allow you to draw your own conclusions.
Post 1: as shared on here, in celebration of my progress in ED recovery.
Also shared to my FB page.
I was honoured to receive many positive comments & messages congratulating me on my recovery progress, such as:
“Great post Katy. Soooo pleased that you are in a better place of self- acceptance than last year ( despite not thinking that when you woke). I remember your smart, feisty, hidden warmth and knew you’d make a mark on the world… Which you are doing through your inspirational blogs. Enjoy the sunshine and gin- fabulous combination xxx”
“I’m so proud of you my darling”
“That’s so amazing. Love it! Love it! So much to celebrate on the retreat!!” (the next time we’ll see each other, I’ll talk about our retreats some other time in another post).
~ and other similar comments from a variety of sources, friends, followers and even an old school teacher (pretty miraculous given what a nightmare I was to teach).
But out of the blue I ended up engaged in the following conversation, with someone I have never met or heard of:
And the more I conversed with her, the funnier I found it. And also, the more my friends, followers and wellwishers rallied around me:
“I’d ignore her if I were you. The comments section of most social media is the swamps. Don’t get sucked in there it’s sticky, mucky and truly the breeding ground of parasites, sucking the life and joy out of everything (dementor grounds). There are no facial expressions, no tone of voice, no personal contact and it’s dehumanising. Pour yourself another gin, put that fabulous heart-shaped straw in it, stay on dry land and in the sunshine and bask in yet another day of you-ness. Life has a way of teaching everyone the lessons they need. And it’s usually very humbling…”
“I read through this and it made me really angry -.- I was two steps away from replying to her on your page and realised that exactly as [the previous commenter] said all I would be doing is getting suckered in. She either has her own demons with Alcohol, is another USA prohibition era hippy or just a moron, either way bring on the ban hammer and ignore the dappy troll 🙂 keep fighting the good fight xx”
This show of support resulted in some slightly more personal, and even threatening behaviour from Angelina.
One follower had referred to me by the name I use on my personal FB page in a comment (my identity is no secret on my FB page, I just like to keep my private life separate from what I choose to publicise), and Angelina responded something like “well, she’s obviously only defending you because she knows you, some friend you’ve got there TILLY”. [No emphasis added]
A bit threatening?
So I immediately deleted it as threatening content has no place on my page. None whatsoever.
If I’m honest, by this point I was just baiting her…. and it worked…. because the next bit is ignorant troll gold!!!!
Many things ran through my head at this point… including questioning her judgment of ME as irrational, sending her a list of my qualifications or pointing out that I have taught psychology research methods to MSc students at a top U.K. University and advised the design of some of the most prestigious healthcare research projects currently in progress (I’m sure that would have put fear into her heart at the fate of future generations)…
But then, it REALLY annoyed me, as it affected a vulnerable and loving friend and supporter; the one who had named me. Inadvertently her comment naming me was deleted as I deleted the entire thread but ANGELINA CLEMENTS led her to believe she had done wrong to me. To the point where she apologised to me. I of course reassured her she had done nothing wrong, I was grateful for her support and her comment was only deleted as a side effect of me deleting Angelina’s.
This woman had attacked me for no apparent reason, and now she was attacking people I care about. Enough was enough. I deleted all her comments. Blocked and reported her to Facebook, and thanked all my friends for their suppport, which meant the world.
However, in aid of highlighting, and I hope bringing an end to this sort of behaviour, I also chose to preserve and publicise it via a serious of instagram posts:
And then I honestly spent all morning in fits of laughter discussing the situation with various friends, culminating in a final Instagram post on the matter.
And you know what… if her intention was to do good in the world and help me and others….. she succeeded:
I feel absolutely great about myself and have had a day of feeling strong, powerful, and looking back over all my achievements as well as feeling all the good feels that come with having all your loved ones, friends and followers rally around you with messages of love, light and encouragement.
And I choose to end with a note from my therapist. Verbatim:
“Add my comment to the list of supporters. I’m proud of you.”
So thank you Angelina Clements. Sincerely. From the bottom of my heart.