It doesn’t matter what you’re feeling, put on a happy face. You are meant to be healing. Your behaviour is a disgrace. This isn’t how I wanted today to go. This isn’t how I wanted to feel or be. This blackness enveloped my soul. I could not find a way to break free. I had to leave so I wouldn’t spoil the party. I wanted to join in, didn’t know I’d feel so angry. It’s not even real anger I feel in my soul. But a self-destructive power that won’t let go.
Original writing. Copyright Katy Matilda Neo, 2017.